


The Curriculum from Hel(l/en)

by modestsphinx



Series: The Eyepocalypse is Peak Comedy Fodder [2]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, General Crude Humor and Idiocy, Humor, Lists, Post-The Watcher's Crown (The Magnus Archives), TMA stands for Too Many Allusions, post-eyepocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:22:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27360418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/modestsphinx/pseuds/modestsphinx
Summary: It's just not fair that the Dark gets to monopolize all those deliciously fearful children! The other Avatars are taking it upon themselves to educate the world's youth in the merits (?) of their own Fears.
Series: The Eyepocalypse is Peak Comedy Fodder [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1998112
Comments: 12
Kudos: 39





	The Curriculum from Hel(l/en)

_To whom it may concern (and you ought to know who that is, and it ought to be you, because your name ought to have been on the envelope):_

_Those precious tots in the Dark won't have such pinch-able cheeks forever! Per our last meeting, a curriculum is being assembled to nurture and edify the wee ones into satisfying sources of terror in an effort for equal shots at marking. Thanks are in order to the Neighborhood Watch, a newly organized union of Avatars of the Ceaseless Watcher, for alerting everyone to this problem/opportunity -- even if they did only do it to spite Jonah, which isn't really a problem because the Spiral knows we'd all like to spite Jonah._ _Attached are the current course listings and confirmed panels. Please knock three times on the yellow door if your words have gotten a little... twisted._

_To our dear colleagues in the Extinction: we know you didn't have much time to get your affairs in order before the Watcher's Crown, but please try to submit a course soon. Think of it as an opportunity to gain some ground. Representatives from the Flesh and the Corruption are also seeking an interested Extinction Avatar for a panel discussing the effects of exposure to radioactive materials on the human body. Interested parties should contact John Amherst._

_Lastly, everyone can rest easy knowing that, thanks to an unlikely collaboration by the Spiral, the Stranger, the Dark, and the End, Jonah's efforts to create a course on tax evasion have been successfully thwarted. He won't be intruding; he's got a terrible headache, the poor dear._

_Hugs and kisses,_

_The Distortion_

_**Proposed Courses for the Watcher's Crown Memorial School, Year 1 of Our Beholding** _

  * **BRD 372 Build Your Own Oubliette** (Architectural Practicum) -- Mr. G. G. Scott
  * **CRPT 168 How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Beetle** \-- M. B. Maçon
  * **DARK 226 What's Going Bump in the Night?** : Physics! -- Dr. M. Dominguez
  * **DSLN 101 Arson for Fun and Profit** \-- Mr. A. Nolan
  * **END 103 You Don't Actually Get to Sleep When You're Dead** and Other Existential Horrors -- Mr. N. Thorp
  * **EYE 405** **I Know About All of Your Weird Porn:** Technological Infrastructure and the Surveillance State -- Mx. S. Stiller
  * **EXTN ???** TBD
  * **FLSH 216 If Nobody's Rich Anymore, Who Should We Eat?:** The Ethics of Cannibalism -- Mr. J. Haan
  * **HUNT 349 If You Can Survive to the End of the Week I'll Give You an A** \-- Ms. J. Montauk
  * **LNLY 267 A Review of All Content and Communications from That Thing You Weren't Invited To** (Case Study) -- Mr. T. Dahl, First Mate
  * **SLTR 339 Universal Design and Weaponry** : A Disability-Positive Primer in Murder -- Miss M. King
  * **SPRL 154 Solid Geometry** and Why It Represents a False Constraint on Imagination and Mental Anguish -- The Distortion
  * **STRG 521** **"I Call Him 'Fluffy'!":** The Inevitable Marriage of Taxidermy and Ventriloquism -- Mx. D. Rawlings
  * **VAST 296 L'appel du** **vide** , or, That Weird Impulse to Jump from High Places and Why You Should Follow Through -- Miss H. Fairchild
  * **WEB 383 You Are Not Immune to Propaganda:** Media, Memes, and the Mother -- Mr. N. Lagorio



_**Proposed Panels** _

  * _Gaslighting and You_  

    * Annabelle Cane, The Distortion, Conrad Lukas, Claude Vilakazi
  * _Experimental Anatomy_
    * Toby Carlisle, Jan Novak, The Worker of Clay
  * Frankenstein _and Its Themes_
    * Sarah Baldwin, Oliver Banks, Jared Hopworth



All questions should be directed to Helen, as self-appointed Head of Academic Programming, and then to Ms. Cane, who does not possess a title within the school board as of yet but is undeniably the more effective administrator.

**Author's Note:**

> Watch me pelt you with references and call it fanfiction! There's nothing anyone can do about it!


End file.
